God in the Dock

I am finding more and more that this blog is becoming my personal archive of beloved quotes... please forgive me!

I am taking a writing hiatus at the moment (and for the past 18 months or so of moments, really...!), and I'm trying to decide whether to keep the blog and really write regularly, or not to keep it. We shall see in due time.

For now, another quote, from beloved C.S. himself.

"Every age has its own outlook. It is specially good at seeing certain truths and specially liable to make certain mistakes. […] None of us can escape this blindness, but we shall certainly increase it, and weaken our guard against it if we read only modern books. Where they are true, they will give us truths which we half knew already. Where they are false, they will aggravate the error with which we are already dangerously ill. The only palliative is to keep the clean sea breeze of the centuries blowing through our minds, and this can be done only by reading old books. […] To be sure, the books of the future would be just as good a corrective as the books of the past, but unfortunately we cannot get at them." 

-C.S. Lewis 

"On the Reading of Old Books" —God in the Dock

Morning Thought

What a challenge to examine our hearts. On what or who am I depending for my stability, my sanctification, and my happiness?

"Is your knowledge of God a transforming knowledge? Have you so become acquainted with God as to receive the impress (as it were) of what God is?—for a true knowledge of God is a transforming knowledge. As I look upon the glory of God I am changed into that glory; and as my acquaintance with God deepens, I become more like God. There is a transfer of God's moral image to my soul. Is your knowledge then transforming? Does your acquaintance with God make you more like God—more holy, more divine, more heavenly, more spiritual? Does it prompt you to pant after conformity to God's mind, desiring in all things to walk so as to please God, and to have, as it were, a transfer of the nature of God to your soul? Examine, therefore, your professed acquaintance with God, and see whether it is that acquaintance which will bring you to heaven, and will go on increasing through the countless ages of eternity. 

And I would say to God's saints—trace the cause of much of our uneven walking, of our little holiness, and, consequently, of our little happiness, to our imperfect acquaintance with what God is. Did I know more of what God is to me in Christ—how He loves me, what a deep interest He takes in all my concerns—did I know that He never withdraws His eye from me for one moment, that His heart of love never grows cold—oh! did I but know this, would I not walk more as one acquainted with God? Would I not desire to consult Him in all that interests me, to acknowledge Him in all my ways, to look up to Him in all things, and to deal with Him in all matters? Would I not desire to be more like Him, more holy, more divine, more Christ-like? Yes, beloved; it is because we know Him so little, that we walk so much in uneven ways. We consult man rather than God; we flee to the asylum of a creature-bosom, rather than to the bosom of the Father; we go to the sympathy of man, rather than to the sympathy of God in Christ, because we are so imperfectly acquainted with God. 

But did I know more clearly what God is to me in the Son of His love, I should say—I have not a trial but I may take that trial to my Father; I am not in a perplexity but I may go to God for counsel; I am in no difficulty, I have no want, but it is my privilege to spread it before my Father—to unveil my heart of sin, my heart of wretchedness, my heart of poverty, to Him who has unveiled His heart of love, His heart of grace, His heart of tenderness to me in Christ. As I become more acquainted with God, my character and my Christian walk will be more even, more circumspect, more holy, and consequently more happy."

[taken from Octavius Winslow's Morning Thought]

Engaged Affections

The true cure for a dull memory in religion, is to get deeper love toward Christ, and affections more thoroughly set on things above. We do not readily forget the things we love, and the objects which we keep continually under our eyes. The names of our parents and children are always remembered. The face of the husband or wife we love is engraved on the tablets of our hearts. The more our affections are engaged in Christ’s service, the more easy shall we find it to remember Christ’s words. The words of the apostle ought to be carefully pondered: “We ought to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip.” (Heb. 2:1.) | J.C. Ryle

Waiting for the Big Moment

As I finish up Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts,  I've been sifting through my own lack of gratitude and establishing intentional ways to build gratitude and a lifestyle of miracles and thanks (eucharisteo).

From a broader, less personal perspective, I've also been thinking through our culture and the ways that ingratitude is cultivated all around us each and every day. Simple politeness and manners aren't taught or demanded as they have been in the past, communication is scattered, and verbal and non-verbal ingratitude nearly reigns in the American mindset.
We have an entitlement complex like no other: we deserve extra, free, better, more! Always. It never stops, we are never satisfied... and we are unthankful for what we have because it's not enough. But what is enough? Is there not joy in the everyday, in the simplicities of life, in the common ? We're so busy looking for the extraordinary and the unique in our ideal realities that we miss the extraordinary miracles of our actual realities.

This is highly reflected by our culture's revolution around our ideal [false] realities that we create on Pinterest, Tumblr, facebook, Instagram, and even our blogs, literature, and other media. Isn't it harder to embrace real life when I have such "better" things online? We find ourselves in constant states of discontent, covetousness, and depression. Yet, God has given us every good and perfect gift (James 1:17), has not withheld anything good from us (Psalm 84:11), and is working all things in our lives together for good according to His purpose of making us more like Christ (Romans 8:28-29). The goal, as I've said before, is not happiness, but holiness.

For me, it's time for a reality check. If I'm not living fully in each moment, is my life really full? Our lives are more like leaky buckets, always running out, unable to satisfy and quench, than the overflowing fountains of blessings that God is really giving us. These holes aren't from our circumstances, but from our attitudes.

Marli Tague, a friend of mine, shared this quote over at Cause for Joy:

“I have always, essentially, been waiting. Waiting to become something else, waiting to be that person I always thought I was on the verge of becoming, waiting for that life I thought I would have. In my head, I was always one step away. In high school, I was biding my time until I could become the college version of myself, the one my mind could see so clearly. In college, the post-college “adult” person was always looming in front of me, smarter, stronger, more organized. Then the married person, then the person I’d become when we have kids. For twenty years, literally, I have waited to become the thin version of myself, because that’s when life will really begin.

And through all that waiting, here I am. My life is passing, day by day, and I am waiting for it to start. I am waiting for that time, that person, that event when my life will finally begin.

When Trials Come

Through my human circumstances of severed relationships, an unknown future, a demanding schedule, and raw emotions through it all, it's so easy to let myself be discouraged and frankly ransacked by guilt or anger or fear. Yet, as God reveals my idols one by one and graciously takes them out of my life, He also gives me the grace to remember His regenerating mercy and His finished work atoning for all my guilt. How He pursues my whole being despite my willful disobedience and my simple ignorance of His true glory

What a glorious God I serve who constantly purifies, cleanses, and molds my life to be more and more like my Christ who gave His all to be my all in all! Over the past week or two, God has deeply ministered His grace to my heart through the words of this song:

When Trials Come

Words by Keith 7 Kristyn Getty

When trials come no longer fear,

For in the pain our God draws near,
To fire a faith worth more than gold.
And there His faithfulness is told,
And there His faithfulness is told.

Within the night I know Your peace;
The breath of God brings strength to me,
And new each morning mercy flows,
As treasures of the darkness grow,
As treasures of the darkness grow.

I turn to Wisdom not my own,
For every battle You have known.
My confidence will rest in You;
Your love endures Your ways are good,
Your love endures Your ways are good.

When I am weary with the cost,
I see the triumph of the cross.
So in it's shadow I shall run,
Till You complete the work begun,
Till You complete the work begun.

One day all things will be made new,
I'll see the hope You called me to,
And in your kingdom paved with gold,
I'll praise your faithfulness of old,
I'll praise your faithfulness of old!

Daring Greatly: The Courage of Vulnerability

As some of you know, I'm currently digesting a book called Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. The book, which touches on shame, vulnerability, depression, gratitude, perfectionism, and contentment, offers so much to mull over and absorb. Today, though, I really just want to share the quote, The Man in the Arena, that the book is named after.

The Man in the Arena is an excerpt from Citizenship in a Republic, a 35-page speech Theodore Roosevelt delivered on April 23, 1910, at the Sorbonne in the amphitheater at the University of Paris. He had traveled with his son, Kermit, by way of the Orient Express to Paris to deliver this speech.

He emphasized to his audience the importance of discipline, work, and character to make a republic succeed. Not the brilliance of the citizens would cause the nation to excel, but the quality of its people. He told the audience: “Self-restraint, self-mastery, common sense, the power of accepting individual responsibility and yet of acting in conjunction with others, courage and resolution—these are the qualities which mark a masterful people.”

Their democracy necessitated high-caliber leaders that would hold civilians to high standards. Words alone could not accomplish this feat; these leaders needed to lead by example. “Indeed, it is a sign of marked political weakness in any commonwealth if the people tend to be carried away by mere oratory, if they tend to value words in and for themselves, as divorced from the deeds for which they are supposed to stand.”
Roosevelt firmly believed that one learned by doing. It is better to stumble than to do nothing or to sit by and criticize those that are “in the arena” he explained. “The poorest way to face life is with a sneer.” It is a sign of weakness. “To judge a man merely by success,” he said, “is an abhorrent wrong.” The famous paragraph from that speech, reproduced below and included in the book Daring Greatly, expressed the standard by which he judged himself and others:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Now, back to the book-- I can't really summarize it any better than Brene herself, so here's an excerpt from her introduction:

Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement.
Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose.

When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make.

Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience. We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be – a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation – with courage and the willingness to engage. Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability. This is daring greatly.

The book explores and answers the following questions:
1. What drives our fear of being vulnerable?
2. How are we protecting ourselves from vulnerability
3. What price are we paying when we shut down and disengage?
4. How do we own and engage with vulnerability so we can start transforming the way we live, love, parent, and lead?

Check out her blog or read the book, which I highly advise. :)

Troubles: the Heralds of Weighty Mercies

Contemplation and meditation have seemed to envelop me this week. I think I'm just reaching the point of catching up with the happenings of the past several weeks. According to my friends, I've been abnormally quiet. In my opinion, I've simply been overwhelmingly consumed, and quite honestly exhausted, by my own thoughts. Yet in the midst of the busyness and clamor of life, I find refuge and consolation in the One who ordained it all to conform me to Christ. What a comfort to know that nothing I endure is in vain! As I have been sifting through my thoughts this week, this little excerpt of Spurgeon's According to Promise was a great encouragement and challenge to my perspective.

“For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.”

2 Corinthians 1:5

"There is a blessed proportion. The Ruler of Providence bears a pair of scales-in this side he puts his people’s trials, and in that he puts their consolations. When the scale of trial is nearly empty, you will always find the scale of consolation in nearly the same condition; and when the scale of trials is full, you will find the scale of consolation just as heavy.

When the black clouds gather most, the light is the more brightly revealed to us. When the night lowers and the tempest is coming on, the Heavenly Captain is always closest to his crew. It is a blessed thing, that when we are most cast down, then it is that we are most lifted up by the consolations of the Spirit. One reason is, because trials make more room for consolation. Great hearts can only be made by great troubles. The spade of trouble digs the reservoir of comfort deeper, and makes more room for consolation. God comes into our heart-he finds it full-he begins to break our comforts and to make it empty; then there is more room for grace. The humbler a man lies, the more comfort he will always have, because he will be more fitted to receive it.

Another reason why we are often most happy in our troubles, is this- then we have the closest dealings with God. When the barn is full, man can live without God: when the purse is bursting with gold, we try to do without so much prayer. But once take our gourds away, and we want our God; once cleanse the idols out of the house, then we are compelled to honour Jehovah. “Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O Lord.” There is no cry so good as that which comes from the bottom of the mountains; no prayer half so hearty as that which comes up from the depths of the soul, through deep trials and afflictions. Hence they bring us to God, and we are happier; for nearness to God is happiness. Come, troubled believer, fret not over your heavy troubles, for they are the heralds of weighty mercies."

{Charles Haddon Spurgeon, According to Promise }

Unique Mission and Plain Priority

 If you're like me, you've probably been very overwhelmed-- at some point in time-- by the seemingly overbearing obligations that are apparently the lot of the Christian. Although we should certainly do good works as a natural outpouring of the love we've been shown through salvation, there is no way for Christians to make everything right in the world. The ultimate purpose of Christians is worship. And because worship is lacking throughout the world, we have been commissioned to take part in bringing the gospel to the world through global outreach. DeYoung and Gilbert use Machen's words to briefly make sense of all this:

"'The responsibility of the church in the new age is the same as its responsibility in every age. It is to testify that this world is lost in sin; that the span of human life—no, all the length of human history—is an infinitesimal island in the awful depths of eternity; that there is a mysterious, holy, living God, Creator of
all, Upholder of all, infinitely beyond all; that he has revealed himself to us in his Word and offered us communion with himself through Jesus Christ the Lord; that there is no other salvation, for individuals or for nations, save this, but that this
salvation is full and free, and that whoever possesses it has for himself and for all others to whom he may be the instrument of bringing it a treasure compared with which all the kingdoms of the earth—no, all the wonders of the starry heavens—are as the dust of the street. An unpopular message it is—an impractical message, we are told. But it is the message of the Christian church. Neglect it, and you will have destruction; heed it, and you will have life.'
-J. Gresham Machen

It is not the church’s responsibility to right every wrong or to meet every need, though we have biblical motivation to do some of both. It is our responsibility, however—our unique mission
and plain priority—that this unpopular, impractical gospel message gets told, that neighbors and nations may know that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing, they may
have life in his name."

 What an honor it is to be used by God in spreading His good news to the nations! And how awesome a privilege to show His character and work to our neighbors through visible and tangible manifestations of His love and care. 

_______________________________________________
 This excerpt has been taken from What is the Mission of the Church? Making sense of Social Justice, Shalom, and the Great Commission by Kevin DeYoung and Greg Gilbert.

Sanctified Affliction

"Sanctified affliction teaches the soul its utter destitution. The believer often commences his spiritual journey with shallow and defective views of the perfect fitness and glory of the Redeemer’s justifying righteousness. There is, we admit, a degree of self-renunciation, there is a reception of Christ, and there is some sweet and blessed enjoyment of his acceptance.
Yet, his views of himself, and of the entire, absolute, supreme necessity, importance, and glory of Christ’s finished work, are as nothing compared with his after experience of both.
God will have the righteousness of his Son to be acknowledged and felt to be everything. It is a great work, a glorious work, a finished work, and he will cause his saints to know it. It is his only method of saving sinners; and the sinner that is saved shall acknowledge this, not in his judgment merely; but from a deep heartfelt experience of the truth, ‘to the praise of the glory of his grace.’"

{Octavius Winslow}

Creation's Symphony: The Stars and Whales

Waiting: not "for," but "on"

"It is on God that we should wait, as a waiter waits--not for but on the customer--alert, watchful, attentive, with no agenda of his own, ready to do whatever is wanted. 'My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.' (Ps. 62:5) In Him alone lie our security, our confidence, our trust. A spirit of restlessness and resistance can never wait, but one who believes he is loved with an everlasting love, and knows that underneath are the everlasting arms, will find strength and peace"

{Elisabeth Elliot}

Ignore the Urgent for the Eternal

A few months ago, I sat at my desk sorting through my favorite quotes while personalizing a daily planner for 2013. On the front, my planner reads in glaring black capital letters:

"THE THINGS THAT MATTER MOST MUST NEVER BE AT THE MERCY OF THE THINGS WHICH MATTER LEAST."
{goethe}

Here I sit, in the third week of 2013, browsing through the musings of a few of my favorite bloggers. I have yet to write out my resolved commitments for the year, though I have been successful in keeping them thus far. So, I read through some other girls' lists while I put off writing mine. I come across Megan Dutill's post over at Bloom!,  and her last point really strikes me. 

"And I want to ignore the urgent for the eternal."

 I think, "Wow. This is exactly in line with my thoughts and convictions lately. These simple words are what my heart has been longing to express these past weeks in the midst of renewed commitments." 

But all that my heart's desire contains cannot be expressed, nor clearly communicated, in that one sentence. Thankfully, Megan feels the same way. So she continued to write:

"What do I mean by this? I confess that making space, daily, for a quiet time is a struggle. I'm surrounded by deadlines that have to be met right now; meetings to go to, freelance writing assignments, thesis research, people to meet with and be with in this last semester. Everything seems so urgent - and then it's bedtime and my eyes don't stay open and I just collapse into bed way too late.

And God wasn't an "urgent" deadline...so time with him didn't happen.

Have you ever found yourself in this situation? I'm realizing that it really won't change. There will always be urgent things that are good and important and scream for my attention.  Next month won't be any easier. Nor will the summertime.

But nothing I do will have the eternal impact of growing closer to God. So I'm determined to make the time, let something else slide if necessary - because spending time with him is the most important thing.

"Martha, Martha, you are worried about many things, but only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen it, and it will not be taken away from her." 

My prayer for this new year - whether or not I ever pin down something I want to make a "resolution" - is to do a little more being and a little less doing. A little more focusing on God and who he says I am than learning how to do XYZ.

What is your prayer for this year?"

And I completely identify with Megan's words. She could have been describing my semester as she was painting the picture of her own. 

I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit's working within me as I reject and ignore my relationship with the Father, all the while He is trying to pull me back. And I am so ready to be back in the comfort of His arms-- exactly where I have always and will continually need to be. No matter if I desire to submit or not, the need is undeniably there and sorely made known. So, for 2013, I am resolving to make the time to spend with the One who calls me His beloved. I have nothing to lose but myself, and everything to gain in Christ. And there is no better investment of my time and energy. 

I am resolved to ignore the urgent for the sake of the eternal.

I am resolved not to let the things that matter most be at the mercy of those which matter least.

"I'm Mary and I'm Martha all at the same time;
I'm sitting at His feet and yet I'm dying to be recognized.
I am a picture of contentment and I am dissatisfied.
Why is it easy to work but hard to rest sometimes,
Sometimes, sometimes

I'm restless, and I rustle like a thousand tall trees;
I'm twisting and I'm turning in an endless daydream.
You wrestle me at night and I wake in search of You...
But try as I might, I just can't catch You
But I want to, 'cause I need You, yes, I need You
I can't catch You, but I want to.

How long, how long until I'm home?
I'm so tired, so tired of running
How long until You come for me?

I'm so tired, so tired of running
Yeah, I'm so tired, so tired of running
I'm so tired, so tired of running."

 {audrey assad, lament}

A Hundred Prayers

Earlier today, I received this message from a dear friend of mine. I think it speaks for itself, so read on:

I was convicted today by a quote in one of my textbooks. I thought I would share. St. Patrick stated,

"Tending flocks was my daily work, and I would pray constantly during the daylight hours. The love of God and the fear of him surrounded me more and more-and faith grew and the Spirit was roused, so that in one day I would say as many as a hundred prayers and after dark nearly as many again, even while I remained in the woods or on the mountain. I would wake and pray before daybreak - through snow, frost, rain - nor was there any sluggishness in me (such as I experience nowadays) because then the Spirit within me was ardent."

Wow, to be in constant prayer, and never feel full! To have a cup that's overflowing, and still have room for more! To be in such communion with my God! And to know that no matter my circumstances, or physical capabilities, I would never fear of being "sluggish" or worn, because the ardent Spirit is within me, giving me all the grace I need! To dwell on this truth, and the be engulfed in it's richness and blessing is not where I am, but where I long to be!

Is the Spirit ardent in you?