Waiting for the Big Moment

As I finish up Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts,  I've been sifting through my own lack of gratitude and establishing intentional ways to build gratitude and a lifestyle of miracles and thanks (eucharisteo).

From a broader, less personal perspective, I've also been thinking through our culture and the ways that ingratitude is cultivated all around us each and every day. Simple politeness and manners aren't taught or demanded as they have been in the past, communication is scattered, and verbal and non-verbal ingratitude nearly reigns in the American mindset.
We have an entitlement complex like no other: we deserve extra, free, better, more! Always. It never stops, we are never satisfied... and we are unthankful for what we have because it's not enough. But what is enough? Is there not joy in the everyday, in the simplicities of life, in the common ? We're so busy looking for the extraordinary and the unique in our ideal realities that we miss the extraordinary miracles of our actual realities.

This is highly reflected by our culture's revolution around our ideal [false] realities that we create on Pinterest, Tumblr, facebook, Instagram, and even our blogs, literature, and other media. Isn't it harder to embrace real life when I have such "better" things online? We find ourselves in constant states of discontent, covetousness, and depression. Yet, God has given us every good and perfect gift (James 1:17), has not withheld anything good from us (Psalm 84:11), and is working all things in our lives together for good according to His purpose of making us more like Christ (Romans 8:28-29). The goal, as I've said before, is not happiness, but holiness.

For me, it's time for a reality check. If I'm not living fully in each moment, is my life really full? Our lives are more like leaky buckets, always running out, unable to satisfy and quench, than the overflowing fountains of blessings that God is really giving us. These holes aren't from our circumstances, but from our attitudes.

Marli Tague, a friend of mine, shared this quote over at Cause for Joy:

“I have always, essentially, been waiting. Waiting to become something else, waiting to be that person I always thought I was on the verge of becoming, waiting for that life I thought I would have. In my head, I was always one step away. In high school, I was biding my time until I could become the college version of myself, the one my mind could see so clearly. In college, the post-college “adult” person was always looming in front of me, smarter, stronger, more organized. Then the married person, then the person I’d become when we have kids. For twenty years, literally, I have waited to become the thin version of myself, because that’s when life will really begin.

And through all that waiting, here I am. My life is passing, day by day, and I am waiting for it to start. I am waiting for that time, that person, that event when my life will finally begin.

Waiting: not "for," but "on"

"It is on God that we should wait, as a waiter waits--not for but on the customer--alert, watchful, attentive, with no agenda of his own, ready to do whatever is wanted. 'My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.' (Ps. 62:5) In Him alone lie our security, our confidence, our trust. A spirit of restlessness and resistance can never wait, but one who believes he is loved with an everlasting love, and knows that underneath are the everlasting arms, will find strength and peace"

{Elisabeth Elliot}

Silence: the Deafening Din

I have, O Lord, a noisy heart. And entering outward silence doesn't stop the inner clamor. In fact, it seems only to make it worse.
When I am full of activity, the internal noise is only a distant rumble; but when I get still, the rumble amplifies itself. And it is not like the majestic sound of symphony rising to a grand crescendo; rather it is the deafening din of clashing pots and clanging pans. What a racket! Worst of all, I feel helpless to hush the interior pandemonium.

Dear Lord, Jesus, once you spoke peace to the wind and the wave. Speak your shalom over my heart. I wait silently...patiently. I receive into the very core of my being your loving command, "Peace, be still." Amen. 

(Prayers from the Heart. 1994, Harper San Francisco.)

As we prepare for a new year, the thought of a new set of 365 sets of 24 hours is refreshing. Though it is also somewhat daunting.  Too appealing is the temptation to mull over the worries and anxieties those days will bring through the trials and hardships that are sure to arise. The temptation to dwell on needs unmet, desires unfulfilled, and dreams crushed. Those things surely happened on some level over the past twelve months, so the coming year will no doubt be yet another roller coaster of crashing circumstances and surging emotions.

When we find our minds wandering in this direction, meandering through Memory Lane and making a wrong turn onto Regret Drive, we must stop and reevaluate our path. If we really believe that God is still in Heaven and that He is who He says He is, who are we to allow anxiety and worry to claim our hearts? A loving God dwells within us who reigns in ultimate goodness: holiness and love. I find that when I allow my perspective to be introspective and self-analyzing, my thoughts and emotions truly clamor within me to an unbearable level. However, when I turn my perspective to be God-analyzing and truly seek out the face and character of my Savior, my worries turn to prayers, my anxieties are overcome by promises, and my fears are ruled out with patience. What an awesome God we serve, and when we humbly recognize that He is in supreme control over every second of our lives, we can then rejoice in both the joys and sorrows that our days may bring. To spend our days wisely in spite of our emotions is to remember that when God made time, He surely made enough of it.

And when the clamor is too loud and the silence is deafening, we can quiet our souls with the cleansing promises of our Savior.

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.
{Psalm 139:16}

~ GE (College Sophomore)

In Whatsoever State I Am: Content!

        As 2011 draws to a close, I have been reflecting on all the Lord has brought me through this year. Last year about this time, I was reading several blogs, and I kept coming across the idea of picking a word to live out in the year ahead. As I got to thinking about the idea, I decided that in 2011 I wanted to focus on having contentment. So my theme for the year became "Contentment v. Complacency."  At first, I thought that I would kind of learn about these two concepts through personal study. However, I quickly realized that God knew that I needed to learn about these concepts through circumstances and direct experience.

        The year quickly spiraled into unmanageable busyness as I tried to plan for college, my senior trip to New York City flew by, high school ended, graduation came and went, the summer brought an evangelism trip to the Philippines, the fall took me to my first semester at Bible college, and my mom took a new job and moved across the country last week. Now here we are, at the end of another year. Although 2011 was incredibly packed with changes, it was also a year of waiting. Waiting on college decisions, waiting on high school to end, waiting for scholarships to be awarded, waiting for job applications to be accepted, waiting to see souls (in whom I had deeply invested) saved, waiting to start college, waiting for prayers to be answered, waiting to see my family, waiting to know God's revealed will. 


        It seemed to go on forever. But God knew what I needed to learn. He knew that I needed to experientially find out the difference between contentment and complacency. In all of my seasons of waiting, I had to wait on God to provide  for my needs. And ya know, He always came through! He had a plan far before I did (Psalm 139:16), and He had a lesson in contentment waiting for me far before I even desired to learn it.

        A passage on contentment that I have been studying recently is Philippians 4. I have heard people quote verse 13 many, many  times. However, I never realized that when Paul says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," he is speaking in regard to his finances! He is saying that, regardless of how dismal his bank account may appear at any given time, God is fully able to meet his financial needs for whatever God wants him to do. Paul is thanking the Philippians for giving him financial support as directed by God. He is relaying to his fellow Christians that God has taught him to be joyful with little and how to be responsible with a lot. But, Paul makes it clear that God has taught him to be content in any financial situation. Paul can do this because he is resting in the fact that his God has no limits on His financial ability! 

What if...?

"What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be?"

This is a common thought in regard to God's plan for our lives. For some reason, many Christians have a tainted view that God did not have our best in mind when He ordained all of our days in His book before one of them even came to be (Psalm 139:16). However, we must realize that He did, and does, have our best interest in mind. Now we merely "look through a glass dimly," contrasting the circumstances of this life to God's loving character. But one day "we will be face to face," and we will know Him fully. (1 Corinthians 13:12)

We so often fail to see that although our humbling wouldn't be our decision, it's there that God's glory shines brightest. When we want happiness, God instead pushes us toward holiness. While God commands us to be content, we still wish for circumstances that would easily lend way to complacency. We want the crown, but our Father gently reminds us that the cross precedes it. We must ask God to teach us to pray His will, not ours. We must ask Him to continually correct our perspectives, and give us a proper view of our own mortal desires in light of His eternal interest. We must be digging through His Word for solid ground to replace the sandy foundation of our souls' desires.

Thankfulness: A Choice

Last week, I returned home from a three week journey in the Philippines, where I saw God do great things as I boldly stepped out in faith to serve Him.
 
I joined a ministry called Student Movement for Christ International (SMCI) as they ran a 6-week evangelistic campaign. During this campaign (which is still in its last 2 weeks--please be praying!), a team of people from around the world joins SMCI as they go to high schools and universities, preaching the gospel in each classroom.

I learned many huge lessons as I grew closer to God during those three weeks, and some of them will be shared here on this blog in the near future. In the mean time, here are a few thoughts to ponder.


Upon returning home, I realized and learned many things as I looked out at my home life and the life of my friends with my fresh, drastically different perspective . One of the first things I noticed was that I had not heard anyone complain for the past three weeks.  
Our team involved people from 6 countries, who got together in an impoverished land to serve God from dawn to dark in less-than-luxurious conditions, with cultural barriers, communication barriers, sickness, exhaustion, and unmet expectations along the way. In this circumstance, it simply cannot be expected, humanly speaking, that no one would complain.

But they didn't. They kept their eyes stayed upon the Lord, asked for and expected Him to work in a marvelous way, and kept serving Him with patience.

Just What I Need: When I need it!

Have you ever had a circumstance in your life when you thought, "How is this thing good for me? How is this process profitable? Why is this person in my life? Why am I not getting that right now? Why am I getting this right now? How will I get through this?"?

I think if we are honest with ourselves, we would probably all say that we have thought nearly all of those questions, during various circumstances in our lives.

However, as a Christian, I have a just, gracious, merciful God who gives me just what (and when, where, who, and how) I need! Because of who my God is, I can trust that He has my best interest in mind, and will cause things to happen according to His sovereign will (Philippians 1:6)

In His justice, He gives me what I deserve.
In His mercy, He doesn't give me what I deserve.
In His grace, He gives me what I don't deserve.

He puts things and people in my life in just the right way, in just the right place, and at just the right time. Although I cannot always see what is best for myself, I have a Savior who knows my inmost thoughts and needs (Psalm 139).

Who
God knows the people I must have relationships with in order to become more like His Son-- whether they be sweet and kind, or consistently testing my patience. 


What
He knows the things I need (and don't need!) in order to become more like His Son-- whether a thing will bless and provide for me, or will simply become a snare and a stumbling block to my feet. 


When
He knows the exact moment I need to encounter things in life in order to become more like His Son-- whether my persistence for "Today, Lord!"  is good, or a time of stillness and waiting would teach me.


Where
He knows the perfect location I need to be in order to become more like His Son-- whether it be the thrust of a raging storm on the sea, or the soothing of a gentle breeze in the desert. 


How
He knows the process I must go through in order to become more like His Son--whether it be a trying and difficult one, or a pleasantly simple one.

I recently had an overwhelming need, and I had figured out the "perfect" way to fulfill it. However, God had a totally different plan of how He would provide for me! I had prayerfully stepped out in faith, acknowledging that I would do my best according to His revealed will, but that I was ultimately trusting Him to provide the way. And surely, He worked! Provision came in way I never expected, from the people I had least anticipated, and at a much later time that I had hoped!

Trust and Obey

Sometimes, it can be difficult to trust someone with something that I wish I had control over.  Even if it's someone who is worthy of my trust, it is still hard to accept that I will be without power in the situation. Unfortunately, although God is worthy of my trust (as a mere human) in every aspect and every situation, I often don't give it to Him.  I doubt Him, whether deliberately or not. Ultimately, I am challenging His authority (Isaiah 55:9) and questioning His faithfulness (Deuteronomy 32:4). 


Also, it can be difficult to submit to someone else's control over me.  Obedience can be a hard thing to do, because I don't like to admit that I am subordinate to someone else, therefore acknowledging that they are in a higher position than I.  Again, this is often our attitude toward God, although He is completely worthy of our obeying and honoring Him in His omniscience and omnipotence. 


However, if I stop to think about it, trusting and obeying actually do go hand-in-hand.  Obedience with trust-- It's action in waiting.


I can't truly do one without the other.  God has called us to action (Philippians 2:12-13), to obedience, not to just sit around pray that His work would be done. We  are the ones He uses to accomplish His work!
On the other hand, we can't just go out and do whatever we think needs to be done, either.  We are to prayerfully seek out the Lord's will first, and then to do what He has called us (2 Timothy 1:9) to do, trusting that He will go before us (Deuteronomy 1:30) and give us His power (2 Corinthians 12:9) to accomplish His plan.


If we are consistently and sincerely seeking God's will and obeying what He has revealed to us, how is it that we cannot trust Him with what is yet to be revealed?  If we can trust Him with the unknown, how can we do anything but obey what we know He wants us to do?

Start Here -- Right Now

Countless times I have heard people ask, "How do I know God's will for my life? How do I know I am doing God's will?"  The answer, which I have also heard many times, is to do what God wants you to do right now.   Yes, organizing and planning out your week or year is wise time management and important.  But as another week comes to an end, I am reminded that we must truly take each day as it comes, focusing on doing the next  right thing.  It is when we begin to focus on doing what God wants us to do moment by moment that we learn to appreciate the journey, and not just the destination.  

Doing the next right thing also requires that we are equipped with the proper tools.  

We must be saturated with God's Word, ready to apply a biblical truth to any question that is shot our direction and able to combat any temptation with the Sword of Truth.

Doubt Not His Grace

Over the past few months, I have been waiting on some very important news that would affect the direction of my life.  As I waited, every day I hoped that the news would come. It was extremely difficult at times to tell the Lord that I knew His timing was perfect and that I was content waiting for it.  During times of discomfort or suffering, it is often easy to overlook the fact that God is grace. He knows exactly what we need and He also knows exactly the right time to give it to us.  For some reason, even though we have all heard this a million times, trusting God when it's not comfortable is definitely easier said than done.


Long story short, the news came this week!  It came when I was least expecting it, honestly, and the outcome was also what I had least expected after waiting for so long.  I had had a rough day, and receiving an answer from the Lord to all of my many prayers over this topic was exactly what I needed in that exact moment.  No sooner, no later--that was clear.

Hustle While You Wait

Last week I had the chance to visit a Christian college that I am considering attending.  I had so much fun with the girls in my dorm room!  They were such an encouragement to me. It made me so excited to be in college soon, and to be like them--always edifying others and constantly looking to what God has to say instead of what the world says.  Then it hit me: I can’t be that way in college if I’m not doing what God wants me to do in high school right now.

The title above is from a chapter in I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris.  This phrase perfectly defines what we should be doing with our lives.  There are certain times in our lives when we are in one realm but we are looking into another.  It’s kind of like how seniors in high school feel; they are physically in the high school realm but mentally want to be in the college realm.  These times in our life we are the most vulnerable to Satan’s attacks.  He would like us to get off track and start giving in to what our sin nature wants.  But we should do the exact opposite; we need to hustle while we wait!

What I mean by this is  that while we are waiting for the next big step in our lives, we need to be totally focused on doing God’s will right now. That means that we need to be respecting our authority, not having bad attitudes toward our families, and constantly reading our Bibles and praying. In the small areas that you think you have under control, Satan will attack there. We also need to guard our weaknesses as they are always a target.

Time to Pull Over

Today I got together with some friends of mine for coffee, and we just shared a couple hours together talking about what God has been doing in our lives, counting our blessings, encouraging each other over our failures, and challenging each other with our convictions. Afterwards, as I got in the car and turned on the radio, I heard this message by James MacDonald. 

Here's what God taught me today.

When we think things need to happen all at once, we get sleepy, worn out, exhausted, irritable, and over-done. Sometimes, we just need to pull over in order to regroup, refocus, and simply be refreshed by God's holiness. If we don't learn to do that, how will we have the strength to keep doing the things God has planned for us to do?

"Tired? Worn down? Do you know that even though God is limitless, He completely understands our limits? And He knows exactly what we need when we reach them. He clearly demonstrates this in Revelation chapter 10, giving John a break from his prophetic visions, providing what he needed, and encouraging and equipping him to carry on."

We must see the Majesty of God.

In Scripture, the people (Noah, Moses, Elijah, Mary, John, Paul, etc) used by God in the greatest ways had their focus on God's glory consistently. They established their purpose before their plan, and they made sure they didn't get distracted by the little stuff. How were they able to maintain focus? They maintained an open relationship with the God who made them, catching glimpses of His greatness. Everything else was then able to fall into place.

In light of eternity, nothing that weighs us down can seem significant. 

Lessons in the Waiting

Wait

by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .

And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

-
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

-
"My future and all to which I relate

Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?

I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,

Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

-
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

-
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,

As my Master replied again, "Wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

-
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .

and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

The Snake's Reasoning: Happiness or Holiness?

I've been reading Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot, and I found a simple yet deep truth very clearly written out in one of the chapters. This truth is illustrated throughout Scripture and in our every day lives.

Consider Jacob and Esau. Both were hoping and praying for their father's blessing, but only Jacob received it. Did they both serve a sovereign, loving God? Think about those two Christian men you know who are unemployed and were recently interviewed for a position at that well-known company. They, and many of the people they know, were praying for God to provide for their families through them getting the job. However, just one was offered the position. Does God still care about both of them?

Elisabeth writes about a conversation she once had with a friend in the middle of the night. Her friend had just come in from a date, was troubled, and wanted to talk.  She explained her eagerness to marry a handsome and wealthy man, however, she had just been out with a Christian man who was very nice, interesting, and handsome, but...not wealthy.