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Saturday, December 29, 2012

Silence: the Deafening Din

I have, O Lord, a noisy heart. And entering outward silence doesn't stop the inner clamor. In fact, it seems only to make it worse.
When I am full of activity, the internal noise is only a distant rumble; but when I get still, the rumble amplifies itself. And it is not like the majestic sound of symphony rising to a grand crescendo; rather it is the deafening din of clashing pots and clanging pans. What a racket! Worst of all, I feel helpless to hush the interior pandemonium.


Dear Lord, Jesus, once you spoke peace to the wind and the wave. Speak your shalom over my heart. I wait silently...patiently. I receive into the very core of my being your loving command, "Peace, be still." Amen. 
(Prayers from the Heart. 1994, Harper San Francisco.)
As we prepare for a new year, the thought of a new set of 365 sets of 24 hours is refreshing. Though it is also somewhat daunting.  Too appealing is the temptation to mull over the worries and anxieties those days will bring through the trials and hardships that are sure to arise. The temptation to dwell on needs unmet, desires unfulfilled, and dreams crushed. Those things surely happened on some level over the past twelve months, so the coming year will no doubt be yet another roller coaster of crashing circumstances and surging emotions.

When we find our minds wandering in this direction, meandering through Memory Lane and making a wrong turn onto Regret Drive, we must stop and reevaluate our path. If we really believe that God is still in Heaven and that He is who He says He is, who are we to allow anxiety and worry to claim our hearts? A loving God dwells within us who reigns in ultimate goodness: holiness and love. I find that when I allow my perspective to be introspective and self-analyzing, my thoughts and emotions truly clamor within me to an unbearable level. However, when I turn my perspective to be God-analyzing and truly seek out the face and character of my Savior, my worries turn to prayers, my anxieties are overcome by promises, and my fears are ruled out with patience. What an awesome God we serve, and when we humbly recognize that He is in supreme control over every second of our lives, we can then rejoice in both the joys and sorrows that our days may bring. To spend our days wisely in spite of our emotions is to remember that when God made time, He surely made enough of it.

And when the clamor is too loud and the silence is deafening, we can quiet our souls with the cleansing promises of our Savior.

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.
{Psalm 139:16}

~ GE (College Sophomore)