Waiting: not "for," but "on"

"It is on God that we should wait, as a waiter waits--not for but on the customer--alert, watchful, attentive, with no agenda of his own, ready to do whatever is wanted. 'My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.' (Ps. 62:5) In Him alone lie our security, our confidence, our trust. A spirit of restlessness and resistance can never wait, but one who believes he is loved with an everlasting love, and knows that underneath are the everlasting arms, will find strength and peace"

{Elisabeth Elliot}

Ignore the Urgent for the Eternal

A few months ago, I sat at my desk sorting through my favorite quotes while personalizing a daily planner for 2013. On the front, my planner reads in glaring black capital letters:

"THE THINGS THAT MATTER MOST MUST NEVER BE AT THE MERCY OF THE THINGS WHICH MATTER LEAST."
{goethe}

Here I sit, in the third week of 2013, browsing through the musings of a few of my favorite bloggers. I have yet to write out my resolved commitments for the year, though I have been successful in keeping them thus far. So, I read through some other girls' lists while I put off writing mine. I come across Megan Dutill's post over at Bloom!,  and her last point really strikes me. 

"And I want to ignore the urgent for the eternal."

 I think, "Wow. This is exactly in line with my thoughts and convictions lately. These simple words are what my heart has been longing to express these past weeks in the midst of renewed commitments." 

But all that my heart's desire contains cannot be expressed, nor clearly communicated, in that one sentence. Thankfully, Megan feels the same way. So she continued to write:

"What do I mean by this? I confess that making space, daily, for a quiet time is a struggle. I'm surrounded by deadlines that have to be met right now; meetings to go to, freelance writing assignments, thesis research, people to meet with and be with in this last semester. Everything seems so urgent - and then it's bedtime and my eyes don't stay open and I just collapse into bed way too late.

And God wasn't an "urgent" deadline...so time with him didn't happen.

Have you ever found yourself in this situation? I'm realizing that it really won't change. There will always be urgent things that are good and important and scream for my attention.  Next month won't be any easier. Nor will the summertime.

But nothing I do will have the eternal impact of growing closer to God. So I'm determined to make the time, let something else slide if necessary - because spending time with him is the most important thing.

"Martha, Martha, you are worried about many things, but only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen it, and it will not be taken away from her." 

My prayer for this new year - whether or not I ever pin down something I want to make a "resolution" - is to do a little more being and a little less doing. A little more focusing on God and who he says I am than learning how to do XYZ.

What is your prayer for this year?"

And I completely identify with Megan's words. She could have been describing my semester as she was painting the picture of her own. 

I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit's working within me as I reject and ignore my relationship with the Father, all the while He is trying to pull me back. And I am so ready to be back in the comfort of His arms-- exactly where I have always and will continually need to be. No matter if I desire to submit or not, the need is undeniably there and sorely made known. So, for 2013, I am resolving to make the time to spend with the One who calls me His beloved. I have nothing to lose but myself, and everything to gain in Christ. And there is no better investment of my time and energy. 

I am resolved to ignore the urgent for the sake of the eternal.

I am resolved not to let the things that matter most be at the mercy of those which matter least.

"I'm Mary and I'm Martha all at the same time;
I'm sitting at His feet and yet I'm dying to be recognized.
I am a picture of contentment and I am dissatisfied.
Why is it easy to work but hard to rest sometimes,
Sometimes, sometimes

I'm restless, and I rustle like a thousand tall trees;
I'm twisting and I'm turning in an endless daydream.
You wrestle me at night and I wake in search of You...
But try as I might, I just can't catch You
But I want to, 'cause I need You, yes, I need You
I can't catch You, but I want to.

How long, how long until I'm home?
I'm so tired, so tired of running
How long until You come for me?

I'm so tired, so tired of running
Yeah, I'm so tired, so tired of running
I'm so tired, so tired of running."

 {audrey assad, lament}

A Hundred Prayers

Earlier today, I received this message from a dear friend of mine. I think it speaks for itself, so read on:

I was convicted today by a quote in one of my textbooks. I thought I would share. St. Patrick stated,

"Tending flocks was my daily work, and I would pray constantly during the daylight hours. The love of God and the fear of him surrounded me more and more-and faith grew and the Spirit was roused, so that in one day I would say as many as a hundred prayers and after dark nearly as many again, even while I remained in the woods or on the mountain. I would wake and pray before daybreak - through snow, frost, rain - nor was there any sluggishness in me (such as I experience nowadays) because then the Spirit within me was ardent."

Wow, to be in constant prayer, and never feel full! To have a cup that's overflowing, and still have room for more! To be in such communion with my God! And to know that no matter my circumstances, or physical capabilities, I would never fear of being "sluggish" or worn, because the ardent Spirit is within me, giving me all the grace I need! To dwell on this truth, and the be engulfed in it's richness and blessing is not where I am, but where I long to be!

Is the Spirit ardent in you?