Waiting for the Big Moment

As I finish up Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts,  I've been sifting through my own lack of gratitude and establishing intentional ways to build gratitude and a lifestyle of miracles and thanks (eucharisteo).

From a broader, less personal perspective, I've also been thinking through our culture and the ways that ingratitude is cultivated all around us each and every day. Simple politeness and manners aren't taught or demanded as they have been in the past, communication is scattered, and verbal and non-verbal ingratitude nearly reigns in the American mindset.
We have an entitlement complex like no other: we deserve extra, free, better, more! Always. It never stops, we are never satisfied... and we are unthankful for what we have because it's not enough. But what is enough? Is there not joy in the everyday, in the simplicities of life, in the common ? We're so busy looking for the extraordinary and the unique in our ideal realities that we miss the extraordinary miracles of our actual realities.

This is highly reflected by our culture's revolution around our ideal [false] realities that we create on Pinterest, Tumblr, facebook, Instagram, and even our blogs, literature, and other media. Isn't it harder to embrace real life when I have such "better" things online? We find ourselves in constant states of discontent, covetousness, and depression. Yet, God has given us every good and perfect gift (James 1:17), has not withheld anything good from us (Psalm 84:11), and is working all things in our lives together for good according to His purpose of making us more like Christ (Romans 8:28-29). The goal, as I've said before, is not happiness, but holiness.

For me, it's time for a reality check. If I'm not living fully in each moment, is my life really full? Our lives are more like leaky buckets, always running out, unable to satisfy and quench, than the overflowing fountains of blessings that God is really giving us. These holes aren't from our circumstances, but from our attitudes.

Marli Tague, a friend of mine, shared this quote over at Cause for Joy:

“I have always, essentially, been waiting. Waiting to become something else, waiting to be that person I always thought I was on the verge of becoming, waiting for that life I thought I would have. In my head, I was always one step away. In high school, I was biding my time until I could become the college version of myself, the one my mind could see so clearly. In college, the post-college “adult” person was always looming in front of me, smarter, stronger, more organized. Then the married person, then the person I’d become when we have kids. For twenty years, literally, I have waited to become the thin version of myself, because that’s when life will really begin.

And through all that waiting, here I am. My life is passing, day by day, and I am waiting for it to start. I am waiting for that time, that person, that event when my life will finally begin.

When Trials Come

Through my human circumstances of severed relationships, an unknown future, a demanding schedule, and raw emotions through it all, it's so easy to let myself be discouraged and frankly ransacked by guilt or anger or fear. Yet, as God reveals my idols one by one and graciously takes them out of my life, He also gives me the grace to remember His regenerating mercy and His finished work atoning for all my guilt. How He pursues my whole being despite my willful disobedience and my simple ignorance of His true glory

What a glorious God I serve who constantly purifies, cleanses, and molds my life to be more and more like my Christ who gave His all to be my all in all! Over the past week or two, God has deeply ministered His grace to my heart through the words of this song:

When Trials Come

Words by Keith 7 Kristyn Getty

When trials come no longer fear,

For in the pain our God draws near,
To fire a faith worth more than gold.
And there His faithfulness is told,
And there His faithfulness is told.

Within the night I know Your peace;
The breath of God brings strength to me,
And new each morning mercy flows,
As treasures of the darkness grow,
As treasures of the darkness grow.

I turn to Wisdom not my own,
For every battle You have known.
My confidence will rest in You;
Your love endures Your ways are good,
Your love endures Your ways are good.

When I am weary with the cost,
I see the triumph of the cross.
So in it's shadow I shall run,
Till You complete the work begun,
Till You complete the work begun.

One day all things will be made new,
I'll see the hope You called me to,
And in your kingdom paved with gold,
I'll praise your faithfulness of old,
I'll praise your faithfulness of old!